Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Shit Happens! & Life Sucks!

Two of the most utterly true truisms I have ever come across.
And totally totally American too!!
But yes, so very true. Shit does happen to us all. And life DOES suck.

Big-time, Majorly, Royally.

Am so sick and tired. Tired of fighting. It just does not stop.
Life just keeps sending in one royal kick after another.
Am sick of getting up and fighting. And again. And again...and again.

I give up...
God, Please have mercy...I can not take these continuous setbacks anymore.
One after another after another...
Will it ever end!
Or will life just be a long painful fight... in which I have already lost!

Will the fight ever ever ever end?

Can I please stop being kicked??????????

I can't get up anymore...............................

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Dreams and More...

How often in life do we wonder, about our dreams and about our right to dream...

Are we justified in doing so? In holding on to our sapne even though each and every one has broken...and broken us...over these years...
Is it worth the pain and heartache? These accummulated years of dreaming? How many of us still hold on? Or give in to skepticism, cynicism and disillusionment?

It is a HUGE risk...to pursue your dreams. Because that makes you in charge of your own destiny. And, OMIGOD, who wants that responsibility...
It is the vulnerability to believe, the openness to hurt, the naive faith in goodness... or, in other words, foolishness...
It is having stars in your eyes on the deepest daarkest nights, it is believing that your cherished hopes WILL happen...and you wait, wait...wait............

There are questions and doubts, there is lingering hope... Thank God for both its Elasticity and resilience :)

When every prayer is a hope, when every breath is a dream...

and yet........

Kehte hain ki wo na khaali jayegi,
Aah jo dil se nikaali jayegi

true, or not?

Do dreams come true?

Friday, April 07, 2006

Bebasi aur Kuchh Baatein

What are those things in life that make us helpless? Laachhar. Bebas.
Out of Control?
Aisi kuchh to cheezein hain...zindagi ke kuchh aise mod, kuchh aisi pareshaaniyaan, kuchh aisi he...
jo ekdum dil se dum nichod lein (to all Harry Potter addicts, we all have our personal Dementors)
Our these reasons of our own making? How much of our own lives do we have in control? And how much do we not? And what can we do to make it so?

I have just realized that most of want makes me unhappy is so because I made it so. Not just my thinking that way- but also me doing such stuff that would contribute to problems. Maybe it is lack of foresight, maybe sheer stupidity, maybe getting carried away. Maybe just not knowing better.

But with this comes the knowledge that I can do something- Yes, learn from my mistakes. Not make the same mistakes again. Do better. Improve.

Maybe this time the desperation will be controllable. The ability to take charge of some part of my life, at least.

Responsibility-for myself. The ability to respond.
Do I have it?